Okapi Weight Loss Program Phase 2 (Update)

Yesterday Fancy and I called an end to the hell of fasting. I had wanted to quit since the first day and Fancy finally decided to join the charge after 3.5 days. Remember that juice that made me want to puke? Well, it eventually had the same affect on her. I knew it was evil, pond scummy, putridness and it would only be a matter of time. Sometimes my nose still catches a whiff of something and my taste buds have a lucid day terror of retasting it. I'm not sure I can eat red peppers again.

All in all I lost 5 pounds, as you can see in the pic above, and that's something. Phase 1 is still going strong for me, so I will update the whole situation soon. During the fast I only did the main 5 exercises: squats, push-ups, sit-ups, chin-ups, and dips because of low energy. This okapi is totally okay with that because they're the core exercises for my 6 week plan.

My first meal when I quit? Japanese food from Blue Ocean (formerly Kyoto...Google hasn't updated the listing yet). It was fantastic as usual, but alas...no review. I was so excited for real food/disoriented from the fast that I forgot to take any pics until I was finished. Okapi fail.

Okapi Weight Loss Program Phase 2 (Update Day 3)

Dear Juice Fast:

I hate you more than anything in the whole world. Do you remember the juice drank in the film where everyone tasted it and said that they kinda liked it? It's terrible. I found this other juice called "The Chiller" from a book and although "Fancy" could drink it, it made me nearly vomit. No, really my mouth waters in that bad way just thinking about it.

On Day 1 I nearly lost my mind and after referencing the website, I realized that there is an express version of the juice fast/reboot. It says I can eat raw or cooked (boiled) fruits/veggies as well as juice. Thank jeebus for that, the first apple I ate that day was like mana from the heavens.

Yesterday was Day 2 and I was pissed off all day. "Fancy" was too, but not nearly as crazy as me. Have you ever seen this okapi without food? It's like this:

So, now I'm on Day 3 and repeating the mantra "3 more days, 3 more days..." in my mind during every waking hour. I'm also trying to sleep as much as possible because okapis are peaceful when asleep and not so  angry. 

The only good juice I have found is (unsurprisingly) fresh apple juice. It is amazing. I also eat fresh fruit for breakfast like peaches yesterday and cantaloupe today which is delicious, but other than that my food intake sucks. 

I am goddamn sick of boiled zucchini, boiled carrots, and dressingless salads. I hate vegetable mixture juices and tasteless food. I have lost three pounds in case anyone was wondering, but I am convinced that it's just water weight from not eating salt. So, I'll update this part of the Okapi Weight Loss Program on Friday which will be here in 3 more days, 3 more days...

Vomitously and Ax-Murderously Yours,

Killerokapi

Okapi Weight Loss Program Phase 2

So, as many of you know I've been doing my workout program for two weeks and have lost a few pounds. I'm sure I've also gained a little bit of muscle, so all in all this okapi is happy. Now comes the fun part: phase 2. 

Have you seen the movie "Fat, Sick, and Nearly Dead"? Yeah, well I hadn't either until one of my best friends, The Ewok, came to my house after watching it. She told me all about this movie with this guy who juice fasted and lost weight and turned his life around and cured himself of a debilitating auto-immune disorder and helped save others and...well you get the picture. At first I was extremely cynical, but after several hours of The Ewok banging her spear and drilling in the gospel of the juice, I was intrigued.

I told "Fancy" about the juice fast and we streamed the movie on Netflix that very night. It turns out that everything The Ewok said was true, so "Fancy" and I decided to try it. I did extra research on juice fasting and we picked a date to begin: July 17, tomorrow. 

Juice fasting is when you eat only fresh fruit and vegetable juice for a period of time (usually at least 10 days). It cleanses your body of all the crap built up from years of eating terrible "food". You can only drink juice and water the whole time; no coffee, tea, cigarettes, booze, or food. I'll miss tea and food, "Fancy" will miss coffee, cigarettes, and food-plus she'll be working. This is going to be goddamn tough.

I went to the downtown public market this past Thursday, which by the way was rated #1 in the country last year, and bought $70 worth of produce. I have green leaf lettuce, celery, red peppers, cucumbers, zucchini, lemons, ginger root, peaches, and two kinds of apples. We're ready to juice! 

We will juice fast for a minimum of 10 days starting tomorrow, so I won't be able to do any restaurant reviews this week which is totally sad for me, but I will post about other stuff. I should have lots of energy after the first couple of days, so I'll be able to check out some sweet nature spots to throw on here for you guys. 

Lastly, please excuse my tone over the next several days: While my body is cleansing, detoxing, creating new cells, losing fat, and clearing up my skin I will probably be at least a little miserable. I'll probably be like Stan Marsh from South Park in that episode where everything seems like shit to him. On a totally unrelated note I think I'm a lot like Stan Marsh in other ways, like always wear a blue hat with a red stripe along the rim, I swear, I'm cynical...screw it, I'll just do a post about this sometime. I clearly have a complex.