Okapi Workout Program Phase 1

*Disclaimer: You should contact your physician before starting any new diet/exercise program*

This okapi is overweight and under active. I've decided that since I'm lazy going to the gym doesn't work for me; there are just too many (imaginary) excuses not to go. I also decided that I really want to lose some weight and gain some muscle before I start law school. Unfortunately, being an overweight woman can hurt your  career. (Good news, boys: The same is untrue of men, so have all the burgers and beers you want!)

Of course this really pisses me off and it should piss you off too whether you're fat or not, but I digress. My career is of course one reason I want to take off some pounds, but another is that I feel like crap. There's nothing worse than a fat, lethargic, okapi. It sleeps a lot and eats a lot, but feels icky.So, I've enacted phase one of my workout plan this week by ditching my gym membership (!) and developing a workout program that thwarts my weaknesses.

First, I researched workout ideas and found this article from Men's Journal. It reminded me of something I had heard a long time ago about body weight exercises being the most effective. Now, I won't rehash the whole article here (you're welcome), but I will say that it makes sense to have your body work as a unit and use your own (sometimes unnecessarily heavy) weight as the resistance. Next I researched that concept and came up with the a workout plan.

Have you ever heard of hundredpushups.com? Well, it's a free six week guide to go from doing 1 or 2 push-ups to 100. It only takes 10 minutes three times a week, so I can't bitch about it. Hell, I can even watch TV while I do it, so I have no excuses. The same people who made the push-up site also did the same for squats, sit-ups, and dips. So, I do all of them three days per week. I also added chin-ups and since I have to use a chair I just do them in the same amount of reps as the dips and call it good. The different workouts don't have to be in a row, I just have to do them.


*UPDATE: "Fancy" pointed out that I should do 2 minutes of jumping jacks to get my muscles warmed up before these exercises to avoid injury. As usual, she's probably right, so you should do the same and for Jeebus sake, don't forget to stretch afterward!!*

Another thing I learned from the Men's Journal article is that four simple exercises can help you avoid common injuries. I do these as well.

Two other days of the week I have to do some sort of exercise, but it doesn't matter what it is. It can be creek walking, biking, tennis, hiking, or just walking around the neighborhood, but I have to move for at least 30 minutes.

As far as food intake, I track my calorie and fat intake at fatsecret.com which is free and has a huge database of foods to track. There's even an Android app which is awesome! My goal is 1600-1800 calories per day.

This is phase one which is a 6 week plan, so I'll let you know how it works out. Stay tuned for phase 2!

Tiffany Stories Part 6

So the news is that he isn't coming home after all. He is staying in South Carolina. Now Tiffany thinks that he might be cheating with Melissa. Melissa is a friend of his roommate. Actually Tiffany met her while Tre was in town. She is beautiful, you know. 
On Tiffany's birthday Tre didn't even call! He sent her a text message the next day saying "sorry I missed your birthday, hope it was a good one." They spoke on the phone the day after and she tells me that he tried to e-mail and IM her on her birthday and neither worked!  Oh, no!! The internet must be broken!
She was so upset telling me about this that she decided that she had to break up with him. The problem is that she couldn't call him immediately to break up with him. He was at work. I asked where he worked and I got a blank look followed by "near the college."
"You don't even know where he works?! Seriously?" 
"Okapi, he has SIX jobs. I don't know which one he's at right now!" Huh. Six jobs, school, AND polo! I'd forget to call someone on their birthday, too! 
The next time that she worked she told me that it was over. He was cheating with Melissa. She wasn't surprised and anyway she had already burned everything that he had "ever" given her. There were two teddy bears and some flowers he had given her for her birthday. Wait! He never sent her anything for her birthday!! When I mentioned this she simply replied "They were delayed two days because of the storm." So, that's the end of Tre. Don't worry, Tiffany wasn't too upset. She already had a date lined up for the following night with Kyle. If you want to know about Kyle, stop back by. 

Warsaw Falls Message

(click to enlarge)

Best Places to Eat in Irondequoit, NY (Part 3 of 3)

Ridge Donut Cafe- This is an old fashion coffee counter and the reason I went with best "places" to eat instead of "restaurants". This little gem has the best doughnuts in Rochester. They are fresh, large and delicious. If you're looking for a piece of dough carrying around a bunch of air, you won't find it here, these are doughnuts with balls. 

I recommend the jelly square, white cream filled, jelly stick, and peanut butter and jelly varieties. Clearly, this okapi loves a good jelly doughnut, but I would be remiss if I didn't also mention that the better half said the custard filled and chocolate fry cake doughnuts are also awesome.  Each solid doughnut was injected with the perfect amount of filling and the outside was crispy with a fluffy interior. 

The doughnuts are currently a little over a dollar each, but you can get a dozen for $9, so buy in bulk! They also sell coffee counter food as well which I have not tried, but is incredibly reasonable (philly cheese steak sandwich $3.99). I would recommend stopping here for a few doughnuts any time you're in the area, are showing out of towners what is so great about Rochester, or if you want a good, honest doughnut. Beware, though: once you have one you will never settle for a run of the mill chain store doughnut again!

Don't forget to check out part 1 and 2 of this list!!

Tiffany Stories Part 5

"It said 'He got the rock'!!" 
I'm staring at her in disbelief. She smokes crack? This explains everything. Now I will have to drug test her and fire her. Then she says "He got the ROCK!? Okapi! The engagement ring!! And it is HUGE!! It could break my wrist." 
OK, so here's the thing: How does she know it's huge? How did she get the text message? How did she know it was the wrong number? Why does his sister know Tiffany's phone number? And how does Tiffany know that the sister has a friend with such a similar phone number? I chose question one.
"Well his great-grandmother was married 5 times. And each ring will go to a different family member!" 
This clarifies nothing except that his great-grandmother is a whore. "Haven't you guys only been dating two and a half weeks?"
"Okapi, I didn't say that I was going to say yes." 
The next day, Tiffany asks an 18 year old associate if she will be considering marriage and children when she turns 21. Children? 
Myself and another associate ask Tiffany if we will be invited to the wedding. She said that I am a "probably maybe" and the other associate is a "maybe-maybe". Is there going to be open bar? Yes, for two hours. 
"You know, Okapi, I do think he's the ONE."
So, on the day before her birthday, she tells me that Tre missed his plane. She was at the airport for FOUR hours!! She was an hour early with breakfast "like a good girlfriend".  She saw that his plane was delayed and waited. He never showed up. He finally called with the bad news. Tune in to the next chapter in the Tiffany Chronicles to hear the bad news.