Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Tiffany Stories Part 5

"It said 'He got the rock'!!" 
I'm staring at her in disbelief. She smokes crack? This explains everything. Now I will have to drug test her and fire her. Then she says "He got the ROCK!? Okapi! The engagement ring!! And it is HUGE!! It could break my wrist." 
OK, so here's the thing: How does she know it's huge? How did she get the text message? How did she know it was the wrong number? Why does his sister know Tiffany's phone number? And how does Tiffany know that the sister has a friend with such a similar phone number? I chose question one.
"Well his great-grandmother was married 5 times. And each ring will go to a different family member!" 
This clarifies nothing except that his great-grandmother is a whore. "Haven't you guys only been dating two and a half weeks?"
"Okapi, I didn't say that I was going to say yes." 
The next day, Tiffany asks an 18 year old associate if she will be considering marriage and children when she turns 21. Children? 
Myself and another associate ask Tiffany if we will be invited to the wedding. She said that I am a "probably maybe" and the other associate is a "maybe-maybe". Is there going to be open bar? Yes, for two hours. 
"You know, Okapi, I do think he's the ONE."
So, on the day before her birthday, she tells me that Tre missed his plane. She was at the airport for FOUR hours!! She was an hour early with breakfast "like a good girlfriend".  She saw that his plane was delayed and waited. He never showed up. He finally called with the bad news. Tune in to the next chapter in the Tiffany Chronicles to hear the bad news

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